The Five Elements.

The Five Elements.

She sat there. In the sun and sand. In the middle of this vast land. She did not feel the heat, she did not feel any pain. She did not hear any noise because she was eaten. Engulfed and well digested by silence.

She would not utter a word. Not one word. Maybe she felt she should have been born deaf and dumb. Life for a person like her would have been better that way. No noise. No quarrels. No fights. No rebels. No harsh words taken. Nothing. That was what she was heading for, now.

For Life hadn’t thrown lemons at her, it had thrown boulders.

It broke the wings of the social butterfly, it threw away all the charm from her pretty face, it blew away all the expressions from her face, it took away all the light from her eyes and her room, it blessed her with pure pain and sorrow. It sucked all the good out of her like a leech. Or maybe like a kid sucking an empty juice pack.

She didn’t blame others. She blamed herself. Like Akon just did as her Ipod played ‘Sorry blame it on me‘. Or maybe she blamed the time. It is easier to blame time and get away with it isn’t it? Thats what people she loved did, too.

She sat and she sat. The clocked ticked away. Tears rolled down her pink cheeks. But there was something about this hollow void feeling that she liked. She wasn’t disturbed. She was left to her own self. Her own free will. Who really cared if she existed or not?They said Man is a social animal. Animals fight like crazy, they did not say. But she liked this solitude.

 

She looked up at the sky. The vastness and the simplicity that she put forth. Maybe, her life was like the sky. Sometimes some clouds drop by. Sometimes a few clouds mind their own business. Sometimes dark ones block light. Sometimes a few shed rain from her eyes. Sometimes the sky is cloudless. Empty and rich in color. Hollow and wide. But she adorned something precious. The Sun. There had to be a sun in her life too. As it was nearing dusk, she saw that even the sun leaves the sky alone for sometime.

This too shall pass. The sky didn’t care did she? She gladly accepts Sun back, the next morning.

The Sun on the other hand, was so powerful. It is the biggest ball of fire. It burns itself continuously to dawn light on us. It does throw heat onto us, but it so really supports life on this planet. What would we do without the sun? But great people also make mistakes. The mighty sun does hurt the sky, repeatedly. Or maybe is he giving the sky some time for itself? But he did his duties right and there was ‘fire in his belly’. His meticulousness is commendable.

She looked at the beach waters. The waves were lapping and gurgling at her. The waters stretched so much over the horizon. The sea continually made noise. She kept everyone happy. She gave space for many beings. She lit up the faces of many kids and had them happy. The waters fostered romance amongst couples. She was fresh, alive, roaring and cool. It lightened the atmosphere.

Should she follow the sky, the sun or the sea?

The beach sand then caught her attention. He was deep. There were a few who came to visit him. Usually the waters were given preference. The waters lashed at him too. They sniggered at him and beat hard against him. They had the sand wet and the sand dried himself up. Again they made him wet, and he dried. This was almost a continuous process and sand never got tired of it. Such Patience.

So the sand has something to tell me too.

The winds blew gently and refreshed her. She breathed deeply. Winds. They were pleasant or horrendous. They could be sweet or destructive. They could gently touch you or throw you away. They had the might and they chose what they should do to you. They spared a few and spoilt a few. They knew to exercise their judgement. But without winds, this place would be vacuumed. It would be incomplete. The winds ‘kept it going’.

So maybe it is the wind after all??

She was confused. Someone called her. It was a tiny lovely girl. She came up to her and smiled. She smiled back too. The little girl kissed her on the cheek and said ‘I love you’. And suddenly the little girl hugged her tight.

She sat there frozen at the sudden display of affection. It was night by now and she did not know how time had passed. Tears rolled down her cheeks again. She kissed the child on her forehead. She asked her ‘What do you love the most?’ The little girl said, “everything”.

“Everything? ”

“Yes I love everything” she said. She smiled and repeated slowly “ev-ery-thing”

Saying that she looked at her for sometime. There was something about the child. There was Godliness in her innocence. Her eyes were too bright. Too livid. Her smile was too meaningful. She seemed too pretty and too lovely. The child rubbed the tears off her cheeks and said “I am here.”

Saying that she ran. She ran like a lightning. In no seconds, she vanished. She vanished into thin air.

The woman here had goosebumps popping all through her otherwise smooth skin. She could now fit in the Puzzle. She had seen something out of the world and extraordinary this day. This day that had thrown emptiness at her had also given her a lesson. She had to learn from “everything”. Everything, meaning the sky, the sun, the sand, the waters and the wind. She had to be a mix of all this. And the right mix would make her someone as lovely as the beach. Man has to have all the qualities of the five elements of Mother Nature.

She had to learn and she would. As for the little girl, We all know who she was. 🙂

 

 

 

 

 

The Unbreakable Bond

The Unbreakable Bond

8th june 1993.

11:18 pm

I was scared. I did not know what this journey would offer me. I did not know the purpose of this journey. I had no clue as to what I should do in this planet. I only knew that I existed within someone and I knew her voice. I’ve been hearing this voice for the past 9 months. She would talk to me..in a strange language. I wouldn’t understand what. All that I know is she would not harm me.

In two minutes, I was told I would start this fearsome journey. The Gods above asked me if I am ready. I said ” I do not know why you are sending me away to some strange place. I do not know anybody there. Please stay with me.”

They said “Our angel is there in that planet. It is her voice that you have been hearing all this while. You will remain close to her and she will take care of you.”

I said ” And how do I call her?”

They smiled at me and said,” In your language, you would call her ‘Amma’. She is your Mother. She will stay with you forever through your life and guide you through your ups and downs.”

I was then duly blessed by all the angels above and sent into this planet. I wondered who the lady was and how she looked. I wondered how much she would guide me, how much she would love me. My head was full of questions, until bright light blinded my eyes. I couldn’t see clearly. I could feel someones hands around me, but they were harsh. I later learnt that it must have been the doctor’s hands. I was then wrapped in some material and shown to others. Many human faces stared at me and I stared back not knowing why. Everything looked so strange.

Someone then kissed me on my forehead. He was smiling and he seemed familiar for no reason. I call him Daddy.

I was taken away from him, washed and set below a table lamp to get due warmth. And then a finger crept up to my folded hands. I instantly knew who she was. I held her finger tight. I knew her touch. I knew how she was. Her gaze fell upon me and I was holding on to her tightly. I felt safe. Love you Amma. 

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She would carry me all day long. She would Kiss me lovingly every time. She took enough care of me. I never had to worry about anything. She taught me to speak the language we speak – Tamil. And maybe that is why it is my Mothertongue. She admired me when I tried to crawl.  She taught me how to walk.

As I grew she taught me to read and write. I still remember the time she would anxiously await the arrival of my school bus and lift me off the stairs of the bus with a tight hug and a kiss. She soon did the same thing all over again with a different child, my brother.

I have of course had a lot of tugs with her during my teens. I still  fight with her at times. But she does put up with me always and forgives me for my mistakes. And I eventually walked past all the difficulties of school and college with her guidance.

With time, I learnt the difficulties she had faced and I swore I would always be there for her. The difference is this-  I had to swear that I would stay with her no matter what and she never swore, it was implied from the day I was born wasn’t it? 🙂 ❤

The Gods above were right. They sent down an angel to take due care of me, to teach me what is wrong and what is right. To love me unconditionally and correct me where I make a mistake. She is the reason behind my existence. We indeed joyfully share an unbreakable bond.

Love you Mom! And this was just my way of expressing my love and wishing you a Happy Birthday!! Stay with me forever! :-*

 

 

For Life Without You is Worse than Death

For Life Without You is Worse than Death

That was the magic I awaited for. The time we walked, not just us- the nature carried our bonded souls. We walked deep into the woods. I was fearless because I was with you.  I was ready to give my life and die with you.

 

We walked past all resistance, all obstacles and people we call relatives. We walked past blood relations only to create the ultimate earthly yet heavenly bond between us.

 

We walked as the dried leaves and twigs crunched beneath our feet. We walked not knowing where we were heading. All that I wanted is the comfort of your arms. I wanted to lie on your arms and rest in peace.

 

I have seen the worst in life only to stay with you.

For we are all the human kind, why is there a difference in us?

Is falling in love a crime?

Did we take along nature’s fury as well?

 

In the distance I could hear waves lashing, we were still walking holding hands. Your grip, yes that was all that I wanted. To cling on to you till my last breath.

The woods opened up to the most beautiful scene I had ever seen in life. A lake so deep streamlined the icy mountains on its either sides. It gave me so much glee to have been bestowed to see this paradise on earth with you. I was lost in the beauty when you slipped your hand along the curve of my hip and pulled me closer. I stayed there listening to the rhythm of your heartbeat and the lapping sounds of the water.

 

I could differentiate the speed of the water lapping, as the lapping had now grown to boiling. That gave me the clue- the nature was against me and you.

 

On the other side, we could hear the noises of our kith and kin. Yet, we were calm, in a state of peace. Our eyes met and yours bored deep into my heart! Yes, I wanted to get lost in your eyes. Your pretty eyes lowered to my lips and in a swift moment our lips met.        Hell broke loose.

 

The water was boiling and the breeze went wild. We still had not broken apart. We held on to each other tightly. And you whispered the three magical words, words I had lived for- I Love You.

A sword flicked past us. We realized death awaited us. I muttered silent prayers to Mother Nature, yet I was not scared, not as long as you were with me.

Then the wonder happened. A whirlwind from nowhere came in our direction and the last thing I saw was your eyes. They were clouded with worry.

Your eyes, Followed by emptiness. I had the last sight of you and I smiled to death. Welcome death.

For life without you is worse than death.

We rise up to see our bodies in the water.We watch the human kind leave our bodies and find their way back. Our love was not mere human love. It was love of souls.

And here we are, happy to have been killed by nature than by swords. No death can now split us apart. We have our life full of love after death.

And I will always love you.

 

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IN PURSUIT OF THE RED UMBRELLA –   THE AGONY OF A TRUE HEART  

IN PURSUIT OF THE RED UMBRELLA –   THE AGONY OF A TRUE HEART  

 

They say angels exist. They are dressed in white, with wings and a halo. Not all men have the ability to identify their angel. My angel carries a red umbrella.

 

I see her everywhere. I see her all around me. I always see her with a red umbrella. She flutters away, and comes back with her umbrella. She lights my day, ends my night always clutching her umbrella tight. She sleeps only next to me and she kisses me to a good day. She walks with me, flies by my side, swings her arms to show her happiness and then shrugs her shoulders in shyness when I look at her and swirls around like a little tornado, with her red umbrella.

She has the most beautiful eyes. Her eyes speak to me. She never utters a word. Her eyes do the talking. They are heavily lidded and mesmerizing. Once I make a connection with them, words cease to exist. Everything including me seems more beautiful if her eyes reflect them.

She never leaves my side. She longs to hug and kiss me and hates it when I have people around me. She sits next to me at work and admires me holding that red umbrella. All that pours out from her gleaming innocent face is pure love. She blows kisses to me, kisses only I can see and feel. Her smile is alluring, contagious and as bright as her red umbrella.

She is my little wandering alarm clock. She points at the clock to remind me when it is time for my lunch. She stays by my side and enjoys watching me eat, playing with her red umbrella all the time.

I can spot my little angel in the distance with her red umbrella. The umbrella moves to her tunes. It jumps along with her when she is in joy. It shines bright when she is happy and is stays shut when she misses me. Her umbrella to me is like a reflector of her moods.

 

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Mine isn’t the tale of two states or cities. It is the tale of two worlds. I stay in both the worlds at the same time. While one world is commercial, polluted, populated, and hectic, built with pressures, the other world- my little world with her is full of pleasures. It is a pleasure to keep watching her. To digest in her innocence and to be taken aback by her beauty is my only entertainment.

We walk together. She doesn’t walk, she doesn’t fly she does both at the same time. For what better could a medium be than silence, for love to be conveyed to the souls hopelessly lost in each other? Her silence is enticing. In my world, she holds out the red umbrella for me. She keeps inviting me to share her umbrella and hold her close. Her dreamy eyes are tantalizing. Her passionate kisses complement my desires.

My Lady with her Red Umbrella jolts me back to the other world when needed. She knows right. She knows the best. She knows what is wrong and she guides me through, effortlessly cutting across all hindrances that I face. She is the reason behind what I am today.

I am often bemused by her. My queen is my only source of strength. Without her, I often find myself adrift and disoriented. She and her Red Umbrella are the only assets I own. They are also the only ones that delight me. Her appearance alone exhilarates me.

 

So who am I? According to those around me, I am a lunatic. I am insane and I am often out of my mind. I belong to the long list of idiots who are lost in love. They have certified me insane years ago. I was conferred with such a title as soon I lost her to an untimely accident. Little do they know that I lost all my sanity when I first saw her.

To this ruthless world, MY Lovely wife is dead. To me she is alert, active, loving, passionate and the most stunning woman ever born. She with her Red Umbrella is the final memory of her, to the mortals here before she was killed in the accident.

These worldly beings now attach her memory to a mere “photograph”. The photograph of her with the red umbrella stays in the walls of few houses including mine. To me, her very picture beautifies the wall of my house.

My angel, my love is the reason I exist.

I, my angel, her red umbrella and our love will remain as immortal as the Good Lord himself.

THE FINAL REALIZATION

THE FINAL REALIZATION

And there she was. Tiny and little, wrapped in sheets and held closely by the lady behind her birth. The lady admired the little baby’s fingers and the little one instantly caught her mother’s fingers and gripped them tight. Tears of happiness crept from the lady’s bright eyes as she looked at her offspring sleeping peacefully. She kissed the baby’s little fingers as she looked at me. She loved the moment and apparently was overwhelmed by the motherhood factor. Oh and I was happy to be what I was-the mirror in the wall.

A year later, there came my angel again. She was wearing a fluffy white frock on the eve of her first birthday, trying her best to walk with those tiny legs of hers. She tripped and fell and her mother caught her just in time. Her eyes were brimming with tears but got distracted by me. She was amazed by me. She came up to me and tried touching me. She could see her on the other side doing the same thing. She smiled and the other girl staring back at her smiled. She clapped her hands, and so did the other girl. She rejoiced it and from then on, every other day, she was found playing with me. Oh and I was happy to be what I was- the mirror in her wall!

 

Days flew past and my little doll had learnt to speak and fondly called me ‘Miro’. She always smiled at me only to see her smiling back at her. The big day had arrived and my baby doll was all dressed. It was her first day to school and she was staring at me all through the time her mother dressed her up. At the end of the exercise, the output was the most adorable little child with two little ponies that had been softly put up on the either sides of her head with flashy bands. She carried a little bag and a water bottle and had a handkerchief pinned to her uniform. My darling left to school and I missed her already. But I was happy to be what I was-the mirror in her wall!

I witnessed her growth. From a little doll to the teenager she was. I saw brilliance replace the innocence in her light-toned face. I saw the change happening right in front of me. I witnessed her in the best of all her moods. One day she was all excited because her friend was coming for a sleepover and the next day she cried because her parents had scolded her. I saw the excitement (of owning her first mobile phone), giving a pink blush to her cheeks, I also saw her cheeks turn red when she was fighting with her parents. She admired her slender figure in front of me every day and I can assure you, she was the most beautiful girl you would have ever come across. I was indeed happy to be what I was-her mirror in her wall.

The days of despair crept in. She was hardly at home. She was working and she now had a guy in her life. She had someone to be admired more than her. She was stunning with the gown she wore to her first date. The string of pearls around her neck only added on to the shine in her pretty face. And then came the big day of my girl’s life- the day of her marriage. The to-be bride stood in front of me and I knew instantly that her man was the luckiest person in the world. I also knew that seeing her henceforth would be an infrequent phenomenon. I was only half happy at being what I was- the mirror no more in her wall.

She visited me once in a while. I was happy to see her. She soon had a bump in her tummy and the day came when she, looked identically like how her mother once did. She had a baby in her hand and was enjoying motherhood, exactly like her own mother did. I was overwhelmed at the sight of her and I knew I would soon witness the growth of another angel in this world. Yet I missed my darling and was not all that happy at being what I was- the mirror away from her.

Time raced past and before I could realize, she had worn out. She had wrinkles creeping in on the sides of her eyes. She disliked looking at me because I did not show her what she wanted. I no more reflected to her, the same beautiful and perfect woman. I now happened to reflect a woman with creases of worry lining her forehead, wrinkles crawling on her skin, untold misery reflecting in her eyes. She had lost both her parents. She had shifted to this house with her daughter and the no-longer-caring husband. She was haunted by the memories of her parents and gobbled by the worries of her marriage and concerns over her daughter’s attitude. She had no time to look at me and one fine day when she did, she was disgusted at the sight that she witnessed and never returned to me thereafter. That is when realization dawned on me. I was no more happy being a mirror. I was not loved anymore because I was not tricky. I did not know to appease her.

For, no human would love to be always told what they are. I could only reflect what I saw. What I reflected at a point, was what she loved and today what I reflect seems to be disliked by her. I am unbiased in any manner whatsoever and I do not know to manipulate. I cannot echo her thoughts. I cannot produce the output one wants. All I can do is stay the same – straightforward as always- but that does not seem to augur well anymore.

Fabrication seems to be the order of the day

 

-The Mirror
that stands dumped today in a waste,
still reflecting the ugly looks of the bin.